It was never going to take long, but you’d have hoped they’d have waited a just a bit longer for the first true victims of coronavirus to at least be buried.

What are we talking about? The corporate parasites now sticking their hands out begging for your money.

These’d be the same cretins that pay cents in the dollar while dumb-dumbs like you pay through the nose on every dollar you can get your hands on (and gone are the days when a few extra hours meant you at least got overtime – now you’re just forking over your time for no benefit).

Now, a little caveat here …

Small businesses tend to get screwed like the rest of us because they’re struggling to make ends meet and so can’t afford to pay to structure their affairs so all their income goes on R&D (yes, we’re looking to you Mike Cannon-Brookes).

Also, there are too many small businesses for the government to sign an individual cheque to each of the poor bastards who are about to lose an employee, maybe a car, possibly their business and God-forbid their house.

Government can’t help them all. And they don’t want to.

Of course, the smart thing to do would be to reduce red tape.

But here’s the catch … government doesn’t want to. The red tape they currently impose and enforce is there for a reason – usually to make some interest group happy and getting rid of it would mean favours have to be repaid.

But more importantly, the change would probably be permanent. To remove it in times of crisis would make it seem superfluous when times are good. So it would take some nerve to reimpose a regulation we lived without. It’s the classic Catch-22. So nothing will be done.

Instead, government will appear generous by throwing money about. Don’t believe it for a second. It’s not generous. It’s borrowed. And it highlights the awful economic management of the past decade.

Remember, it was 12 years ago that the GFC hit. We haven’t been in surplus since then. And now, with a decade of huge deficits and edging to $500 billion in debt we need to call on … what?! There’s nothing there. There are no savings. Excuse the crudity, but we’re shot our wad.

And now we’re going to borrow money to help parasites like Qantas.

More crudity: screw ’em.

Especially Qantas.

Yesterday, the Australian Government announced it would waive fees and charges – backdated to 1 February – for the nation’s airlines. That’s worth $715 million.

On Tuesday, the trade minister, Simon Birmingham, said he had spoken to Qantas and Virgin and “both assure me at present of their viability” because they have “significant cash reserves” despite being under “immense pressure”.

In which case, spend the money. Lord knows they’ve got it and you probably don’t.

There’s no doubt lots of sympathy for the frontline staff. Even the pilots on $200-plus k a year. Maybe. (OK, probably now.) But helping Qantas is a bloody tough pill to swallow when the CEO Alan Joyce last year trousered $23.88 million. For one year’s work. In case you’re wondering, that’s a cool $65,000 a day. In other words, around the average salary for one day in the office.

A few years ago, Qantas went cap in hand to the Abbott Government wanting a bailout.

Abbott said no. The following year, Qantas – without our help – turned things around. Fancy that.

They’ll probably do the same again.

If they do, Alan Joyce will have earned his money. But with a freaking great bailout from dopey taxpayers and gutless governments, he’d better not take home $24 million again.

But you know he will. Because taxpayers are idiots and governments are fools.