Jones is bad, this author little better

In fact, it kind of makes her seem like a major tool. Maybe she has more in common with some people than she’d be comfortable with admitting:

I met Alan Jones at a showbiz ‘‘do’’ in Sydney in the 80s. How we laughed. Jones was showing off to a group of similarly dressed white guys. A mate and I stumbled into his little yawnfest because they were right in front of the nearest food table.

Jones harrumphed at the intrusion and my mate, a newspaper sub-editor, let out with: “Alan, you’re just the man who can sort me out.”

Jones stepped up his self-importance, saying he would do his best to help. My mate went on: “Alan, can you swing a cheap battery for me. Mine’s just shat itself and I’m broke.”

Silence. I got the gag. My friend was pretending to have confused shock-jock Alan Jones with Formula One Alan Jones.

But Jones the elder didn’t get it. Nor did his audience.

I chipped in, suggesting Jones must have heaps of freebies. Formula One champ and all that.
Mainly, to point out what a wizard joke my mate had made.

Jones was livid. His colour rose, which made him look better, then he spat out that he wasn’t thatAlan Jones.

He couldn’t get cheap car parts and nor would he make a call for us to get a battery at trade price.

By now Jones was signalling to security, and that was the end of that afternoon out for us.

Jones shouted out afterwards something like ‘‘no hard feelings’’ and went back to what he does worst. Talking.

Great story, Pam. You’re a real winner.

And just one more point on the latest Jones saga:

Actually, two more. One from the father …

And this awesome response:

Maybe if Malcolm is going to lecture on the treatment of women, he could start a little closer to home.

Malcolm went mad

KRudd went mad as PM. It seems Malcolm was similarly affected:

Malcolm Turnbull stunned his political allies in the dying days of his prime ministership by airing the idea of calling a snap election in a last-ditch attempt to stop Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton from seizing the leadership.

Mr Turnbull told friends he should visit the then-governor-general Sir Peter Cosgrove to end days of turmoil within the government and seek a mandate from the Australian people to stay in power.

He literally had zero political judgment.


A nobody wants us kicked out of a club no one knows about

The Chinese have a lot to answer for in the Pacific. All the trouble Australia is currently experiencing there is a result of competition for Pacific Islands’ support in the UN and other bodies. That’s why the Island nations think they can treat Australia this way.

But frankly, who cares what a former President of Kiribati says.

Seriously. If there’s nothing so former as a former PM, what can you say about a country with a population of 110,000 living on coral?

Australia’s membership of the Pacific Islands Forum should be “urgently reviewed” for possible sanctions or suspension over the Morrison government’s pro-coal stance, says Anote Tong, a former president of Kiribati.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s resistance to demands by forum leaders at last week’s gathering in Tuvalu for a global ban on new coal-fired power plants and coal mines has also drawn criticism from Rachel Kyte, a special United Nations representative, who described support for the fossil fuel as “reckless and cruel”.

If they’re not happy with Australia exporting 400 million tonnes of coal a year, what are they going to make of china producing 4000 million tonnes.

In fact, in July, the Chines celebrated the Menghua Railway, China’s longest coal transporting railway line. It’s expected to be put in operation in Oct. The 1837-km railway will carry 200 million tonnes of coal annually from N China’s Inner Mongolia to E China’s Jiangxi.

That’s one helluva train line, you got there, Xi. The Pacific Islanders won’t be happy about that!

It’s been a while since Julian Burnside has featured here at The Breakdown, so let’s reacquaint ourselves with ol’ Julian:

He’s still a damn fool.