The full Waleed treatment

Watch, and then know this: since the family arrived in Australia in 2012 and 2013, the father has gone back to Sri Lanka three times. It doesn’t seem that he’s that fearful of returning. Maybe that’s why they were found not to be refugees.

Yes, it’s hard to watch, but that’s why we apply the law without fear or favour, and are a nation of laws and not a nation of men. We shouldn’t base these decisions on the cuteness of children or their tears.

Plane travel is awesome for some, but not for you

Elizabeth Farrelly is the crazy cat lady at the Herald. SHe’s nuts. She knows. The Herald knows it. They keep her on anyway.

This is great news as it provides endless content for The Breakdown. Her poopiness is a totally renewable, endless resource. This weekend, she tackled air travel with the logic that makes her a tantalising combination of unmissable and unreadable:

They scream, they whistle, they growl, they roar. Even through the blameless night an occasional flight thunders in – freight, emergencies and the rich. Then as curfew nears its end, a low mumble builds above the cloud layer. We’re up here, they threaten the sleeping world, waiting. On strike of six they pounce, streaming rapid-fire through the languid morning, waking babes, rattling windows, shattering dreams.

She complains about the rich (if you live in Newtown, you are the rich), then blames the growing global middle class:

The further coincidence of plummeting air-travel costs with a rapidly expanding global middle class (now estimated at more than half the world’s population) has generated huge growth in carbon-intensive global tourism.

By definition, the middle class isn’t rich. Nor is it poor. It’s … wait for it … in … the … middle.

It points to a stark truth. We can’t all live like kings. A few of us can live in luxury and the rest in degrees of penury, or we can achieve a degree of equality. But modernism’s promise that we can all have big houses, frequent feasts, countless gadgets and glamorous holidays was always false.

Tell you what, Crazy Lady, you start by not living like a king/queen. If we like what we see, we’ll join you. But don’t hold your breath.

Their ABC at it again

If they wanted to spend their money on this and see how it floats in the market, fine.

This is our money. And it floats, all right, but not in a good way. Here’s the opener:

Recently I was having a D&M with a friend of mine and she told something that came as quite a shock.

We’ve shared many secrets over the years, but I was floored when she told me she doesn’t masturbate.

I was even more surprised when she told me she’s never had an orgasm.

It was like an exchange from Sex and the City, except this wasn’t a frothy dramedy, but rather a sad reflection of what’s happening in many women’s lives.

What the ‘editors’ at ABCLife don’t get is that with each post like this, they’re putting another nail in their coffin.

It’s downhill from there. Complete with animated dancing vaginas (which are kinda cool … but on their coin, nor everyone else’s), you can add this to the reasons Scott Morrison was elected.

Poor Albo

Anthony Albanese is a good bloke. It’s almost universally acknowledged. He had to wait and wait to finally become Labor leader – the fulfillment of a lifelong dream – and now, through no fault of his own, it’s turning brown and sticky (like a stick) in his hands.

Federal Labor Leader Anthony Albanese says the party is in “a diabolical situation” and foreshadowed “comprehensive” structural reform of the NSW branch following damning allegations it had covered up illegal donations.

Mr Albanese said a review into NSW Labor would take place once the six-week inquiry by the NSW Independent Commission Against Corruption concluded, in case there are more revelations in coming weeks.

“In case there are more revelations in coming weeks.” Yeah, about that … You ain’t seen nothing yet.

And to top it off, Tanya Plibersek can’t even pronounce his name correctly.